A former Thoroughbred racehorse that was subjected to exploitation through breeding, until she finally made it out of the slaughter networks in her twilight years. Battered and torn at the age of 25, she was rescued in the United States last year and made the longest journey of her life to spend the rest of her days lavished in love by our friend Lidia Kuleshnyk in Ontario, Canada.

​

The good and bad memories of my life have flashed through my mind at times, like a tapestry made of the plaid blankets I'd worn and brightly colored jockey silks of those who rode me in my racing days. But I am much more than the racehorse I once was, for now I am an old soul that endured pain and sorrow, yet gratefulness and joy remains in my heart.

 

When I was young, I would raise and lower my neck, snorting and swishing my fuzzy tail at every new thing. I felt more power with each new day and I'd playfully spin away and then lay down to rest under the watchful eye of my mother. Our coats both gleamed as we breathed the fresh air and quietly grazed in the sunshine. I felt safe and loved, without a care in the world..How could I know that these happy moments would only be for a time? 

 

My life moved on and memories of being fed like royalty and lovingly rubbed down after sprints on the track are still with me. I was patted on the neck by a proud jockey, praising me that I did well as we raced against a stopwatch. I was a purse money winner that went up against other  horses just like me. We broke out of the track gates and streamed by the cheering crowds, fighting for the lead, sometimes trailing behind.. 

 

But there are some memories I've blocked because they were just too terrible. My racing career didn't end without my being injured and wear and tear on my body. I've been hit and fallen on the track and in the starting gates and a fractured jaw and painful arthritis in my spine set in, and I was not the stealth racehorse I once was. 

 

As I grew older, I had been handled in my private area so many times from being pregnant, that I blocked the memories of discomfort and pain. Maybe people had only loved me because of what I could do for them. But did they see who I really was, did they know I was so much more than how fast I could run or the babies I would carry? 

 

I tried so hard to please them all but was sent away from each place I lived in Louisiana, leaving behind other horses I loved and people who were kind to me. I felt each loss and I was so tired. I didn't know if anyone had noticed, but my weary eyes revealed that there was sadness in those seasons of my life and I would soon learn things would become worse.

 

I vividly remember being taken away from the last place I was at, only to find myself waiting for hours in a strange pen at a loud auction house with cold, clanging metal gates. After being shuffled through an isleway with other frightened horses, I was driven onto a weight scale and sold to a meat buyer and loaded onto a dirty trailer, destined to a place where I became too hungry and tired to be afraid anymore.

 

As the hours and days passed at that dismal place, I wondered what I had done wrong. I tried to remember good times, but I was now part of a bad dream that I couldn't wake up from as each night fell, bringing more exhaustion from stress and hunger. And the mornings came one after another, with no reprieve from my confusion and uncertainty. My mouth hurt, in need of dental care and I was hungry because the little food thrown on filth where my tired feet in need of care stood, wasn't enough and painful to chew. 

 

My lips thirsted for clean water and my stomach hurt from hunger and my heart filled once again with fear. I worried that it might just be better to give up. But I didn't know that a lady from far away was trying to save me, while others were looking for a safe place for me to go. Someone had even reached out to my former breeder/owner to let them know where I was. 

 

But not one person came for me as I grew hungrier and more bewildered each day. 

In my despair, I felt surely someone would help me. But as every night fell once again, I'd loose hope again that things could ever be different until one day, things changed. A nice man came and led me into a trailer. I stepped in with uncertainty, but began to feel hope as I heard the wheels on the road getting farther away from the bad place.

My mouth hurt from my sharp teeth needing attention and I had a heavy worm load, causing strain on my thin body and the thrush in my long feet made it painful to walk. He was concerned about ulcers from the sporadic, meager feedings I had been given for several weeks, but he felt I needed to get stronger before my teeth were taken care of. 

 

So I stepped back into the trailer again and the man brought me to an old wood barn that smelled like clean hay and bedding. I was so thirsty for clean water and the soft dirt under my feet felt good as another horse raised and lowered his neck over a stall door to greet me. 

 

I felt safer that first night as I ate hay that filled my aching belly and layed down in exhaustion, still not understanding why I had lost everything I had ever known. But at least I was away from the meat buyer where I'd been hungry. So when all was calm and quiet, I closed my eyes to sleep.

 

Sunshine beamed through the boards of that old barn when I awoke that first morning and it added warmth on some of the winter mornings to follow. Every day, I kept eating grass hay and alfalfa hay and the nourishing feed put before me until l started to feel stronger. Having my teeth and feet worked on helped and slowly, I began to breathe in hope for the future. 

 

I sensed someone was trying to help by sending me love, but I was still feeling lost because I didn't know where I really belonged. I wondered if I would see anyone I was familiar with ever again and I was still troubled as I had tried so hard to please everyone in my past and I didn't understand why they didn't want me.

 

I silently grieved for the losses I'd endured, like a tiny filly I had always longed to nurture in the softest places of my heart. But I was grateful for the food, clean water and kind hands that touched me as the winter months went by. I knew someone cared and came to know that this time, he wanted nothing in return. 

 

Those winter months in the wood barn with the nice man and a gelding I had become friends with helped me to eat and gain weight and I finally began to feel better. I was turned out on warmer days, where I was free to lay down and rest. As winter turned to spring, the afternoon sunshine warmed my body through my shedding coat and I was feeling better. 

 

Little did I know that I had been prepared for a long journey, far away from anything I'd ever known. I would be heading back to the source of love that had been sent my way during such difficult times I'd endured over the prior winter months to fulfill the most important purpose of my life. 

 

I had already defied the odds of being saved and nothing would stop me from this journey back to the gift of love, to be given and received in a place where I would be treasured forever. So in my twilight years, right after my 25th birthday, I traveled over 1,300 miles to reach my divinely inspired destiny in Ontario, Canada to find the real love I had waited for my whole life.

 

Five months after I had been rescued, I arrived to my true earthly home on May 12, 2023 with Lidia, who had not let go of me through the entire ordeal I had lived through so far away. She and Campbell welcomed me, along with the other horses there, who greeted me in a chorus of whinnies as Lidia took my lead and walked me up the driveway for the very first time.

 

They all showed me what pure love is, with kindness and patience and asked for nothing in return. I was given nourishing food for digestion, inflammation and my ulcers and received continued hoof care and more dental care. Daily red light therapy and chiropractic treatments gave relief and mobility in my back, jaw legs and body.

 

Lidia had blankets she sometimes layered on me to ensure my warmth in this colder climate and a special area was built for me inside the barn to help keep me warm. I had my own area to roam where I could still be near the other horses. Some were much bigger than me and I quivered when I first saw them. 

 

I also remember a special feeling of freedom when Campbell took off the old halter I'd worn for so long. And I made a new forever friend with a gelding more my size named Asher, who gained confidence as a leader, being my pal.

 

Lidia would softly tell me every day that I would be loved forever and she also listened to what I had to say. I shared with her that I had tried so hard to please those who let me down and how I was hurt for purposes of breeding. I had even arrived with swollen and painful mastitis in my teats. Who knows how many foals I carried and said goodbye to that would be used for racing too. 

 

Though my body was ravaged and my feelings had been hurt over and over again, I shared good memories with Lidia  too as she helped me heal from some of my trauma and we grew closer. I told her that the overnight layover in Kentucky she had arranged during my journey had a barn and turnout areas that reminded me of where I had once lived when I was young. I enjoyed rolling and grazing there.

It was so beautiful!

 

I will treasure all of these memories in the richer tapestry I see in my mind now, as I had the time of my life with Lidia and Campbell here on earth, in a home that loved me. Their unconditional love made up for my losses during my twilight years and my long journey to reach them was worth all they gave me. But my earthly body didn't need to stay longer, for the memories of LOVE were tucked in my heart now, and my spirit had even more things to do. 

 

I passed on to the Heavens on Good Friday, March 29, 2024 and my journey continues, for I am tending to foals like I once was in Heavenly fields and one of them is my beloved little newborn filly, that didn't survive in her earthly body. She was given the Russian name of Arina, meaning "peace" and "joy" by the angels.

 

We are both content while she naps and plays just like I once did in my earthly body, as I quietly graze on my favorite grasses and leaves, keeping a watchful eye on all of them. When the soft breeze ripples through my mane and my gleaming tail swishes, rays of sunshine reach all the way down to my beloved Lidia too.

 

Sometimes I come to her at night in soft moonbeams, when she is outside tending to the animals or before she closes her eyes to rest. And I watch over her in peaceful sleep while she dreams because our hearts are now entwined. And the love she gave me will never end, for I'll return it back to her forever💝 

​

​In loving memory of a champion and survivor ~ LACHARME 1998-2024

Written by Kimberly Sheppard © copyright 2023